Confidence is having a belief in yourself and your ability. You may be the most confident person in the world on a day to day basis, until something throws a spanner in the works!
Job interviews can have a way of doing this! Particularly at this present time with job losses and redundancies, there is more competition than ever to land that role! So understandably those normally high confidence levels you usually have can take a little tumble with the interview not going as well as you hoped, resulting in disappointment at not getting it and confidence levels taking another tumble!
It may be that you don’t have any confidence in yourself or your abilities, so shy away from applying for roles that you would love to go for, or maybe you do apply, get to the interview stage but believe “I am not good enough!” or “I’d never get it!” And then Surprise! Surprise! Just to prove you right you don’t!!
Confidence is about knowing yourself and being yourself. It’s about being authentic and true to yourself.
Anchoring is an excellent NLP technique that enables you to get into the most powerful positive state, for a particular task or event such as a job interview and then being able to access that state, exactly when you need it!
When you hear a song and it brings back memories of a particular time and the thoughts and feelings associated with those memories that is anchoring! It may be someone that you see that does it, or the touch of something, those memories and thoughts come flooding back without even trying!!
And the good thing is you can create an anchor for confidence! How good would that be to go into an interview with?
Everything we experience is due to information we take in through our senses. Seeing (visual), hearing (auditory), feelings and touch (kinaesthetic), smell (olfactory), and taste (gustatory). In NLP we call these modalities. Then each of these are broken down into elements of those senses such as a picture being bright or dark, a sound be loud or soft and so on and these are known as submodalities.
To give you an understanding of how powerful anchoring is, here is an example.
Creating a Confidence Anchor
Think of a time when you were at your most confident. (If for any reason you cannot think of a time, imagine what it would be like to be confident).
Once you are aware of the image, sounds and feelings, the aim is to make that confident state as powerful as possible.
To do this, we use the submodalities. So for instance, if you are seeing a picture (visualising), is the image bright or dull? Is it in colour or black and white? Is it in focus or out of focus? If you are using hearing (auditory) is the volume loud or quiet? High or low pitch? Is the tone good or not? If you are using feeling/touch (kinaesthetic) is it warm or cold? Rough or smooth? Heavy or light? And what are you feeling?
So you want to notice the visual, auditory and kinaesthetic that make the feeling stronger. (Tip: You may find it useful to imagine you are holding a TV remote control in your hand, so you are able to turn up/down colour, brightness, volume, heat, happy, etc.)
Notice how the feeling moves through your body and build the feeling as it moves.
As you concentrate on the feeling, continue to adjust the submodalities (using your remote control) and build the experience. Check on a scale of 1-10 how strong it is (1 weakest 10 strongest). When you are at 8, lightly press your thumb and forefinger together and continue to press until the feeling is at its most powerful. (10). (Pressing the thumb and finger together is called the trigger and can be used discreetly! You could choose another trigger but probably not a good idea to go into an interview pressing your finger on your nose or pulling on your ear!!)
Take a break for a minute or so to “Break State.” (Think of something else).
To test the anchor Press the same thumb and forefinger together and notice what happens! That confident state should be re-accessed as soon as you do!
If not, just start the process again. It maybe you were not creating the anchor when the experience was at its height so keep practicing and keep working at it! It will happen!
When the anchor is created successfully, you will know and then some!!
You can use this technique for any positive state you want to create not just for confidence! Happiness, motivation, resourcefulness, inspiration, resilience, joy, the list goes on!! Anchoring is also really useful for these strange times we are going through by changing thoughts and feelings of stress and anxiety (negative states) into positive states!
Another good exercise to build confidence is to acknowledge and value your achievements!
Write them down! As many as you can! Aim for 100! Difficulty remembering? Write them down by decade. So for instance if you are 40, what did you achieve between 0 and 10? Then 11-20? And so on! You will be surprised how much comes back to you!
Remember to include things like learning to walk and talk, two of the greatest feats you achieve in life! You did it yourself!
Learning to walk, no matter how many times you fell over, you got back up and kept going! You never gave up! You did it! Same with talking! Include learning to swim, riding a bike, passing your driving test, all great achievements!
Keep adding to it. When your confidence hits a low spot, read your list to remind yourself of how much success you have had and how much you have achieved in your life so far!
A fantastic and great read, written by our NLP Practitioner and coach, Janet Wilks!