Janet Wilks, NLP Practitioner and Coach

In these uncertain and anxious times, with all areas of business suffering the consequences of COVID19 many of us have felt the impact and many more will do through redundancy and job loss. 

The result of this can be devastating on our well- being, creating feelings of anger, stress anxiety, disbelief, a sense of guilt, uncertainty about the future, lack of confidence and self- worth. All of these feelings can have a negative effect on our health, both physically and mentally and apart from ailments and illness, can also cause lack of concentration, difficulty sleeping amongst other things and an even more severe effect such as depression. 

Of course, it is natural to go through these negative emotions when losing your job. After all it is a big part of your life! It gives you a sense of belonging, stability, a sense of achievement, financial security, routine, being part of a team, so losing that does create feelings of loss, the same feelings experienced in the break- up of a relationship or bereavement. 

And yes, it is fine to allow yourself to feel that way at first, shed a few tears, feel sorry for yourself, worry about the future, listen to all the doom and gloom stories. However, our bodies and minds are not designed to sustain all these negative thoughts and feelings and spending too long with them will cause problems! 

So how you can you change all the negative thoughts and worries that come with losing your job into positive ones so you are more able to stay fighting fit both mentally and physically? 

In NLP there is a technique called Reframing. Basically, it is a different way of looking at a situation. Seeing something in a new way, changing a point of view, so although the facts are still the same, you change perspective and see it from another angle. Recognising positive options and opportunities instead of negative problems. Listening to stories of triumph over adversity rather than stories of sinking without trace! 

When you change the frame on a painting, the painting isn’t changed but it can give it a whole new appearance!  

It’s simply saying “Instead of thinking of it that way, think of it this way!” 

So how can you reframe job loss and redundancy into a positive? 

Well you can think of it as a new start! Take stock of where you are in life! What do you really want?   

Reflect on where you are at the moment and where you want to be! Do you want a career change? Move to another part of the country? Move abroad? Go trekking up the Andes? Do something completely different? Spend more time at home? Go to college and study? Play about with this! Have fun with it!  Use your imagination!  

Think of it as a new opportunity! What about skills you might want to brush up on? Or a course you might want to do online, but have never had the time because of work! What about volunteer work you may be interested in? 

Get yourself registered with Recruitment Agencies. Update your CV with the skills and experience you have! You’ll be surprised how much you do know that you took for granted! Great for the confidence and self- esteem! 

Keep yourself fit! Walking is a great way to give you time to reflect and think about what you really want from life! 

Share your experience! Nothing is more healing than helping others in a similar situation! 

Once you start reframing in the positive, you will come up with your own ideas! Trust me! 

And to really give yourself a boost in the confidence and self-esteem department, try this little exercise. 

Write down a minimum of five things in each section below. Think about each one. It needs to be true and can be personal or work related. It’s great for confidence building, CV building and recognising your own skills. 

Things I’m good at 

Things I enjoy 

Things others like about me 

Things I like about myself 

And then to add to that identify two of your personal skills and two of your qualities that you are particularly proud of! (Skill is something learned quality is a personal trait). 

And probably one of the biggest reframes of all, as a good friend said to me, is to understand, it was not you that was made redundant, it was the role!!  You are not defined by what you do, you are defined by who you are! What you are being rather than what you are doing! Always, always remember that!!!

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